Still not over it

First off I realize there are those who will read this and automatically have the advice, "Get over it...Move on" on this subject. I can only say, I have tried to "get over it" and as for moving on, to what? I am just not the kind of person who can pour my life nto a relationship for over 20 years and then change horses in the midle of the stream. I used to be that way, but marriage spoiled me. I really truly thought it would be a 'till death do we part' simply because I just knew in my heart that it would be that way. I am not "blaming" her anymore than I accept all of the blame for the marriage dying. That ending, as every part of our marriage was a joint effort. I was blind to her feelings that love could be found elsewhere. I'll accept that because that's what she did. Looked elsewhere. Which leaves me feeling as somewhat of a failure since I wasn't viewed as someone to hang onto by the woman that I thought loved me as much as I loved her. She's been gone several years now, with the man she left with, in another state and I've not seen her nor spoken to her in years. That is as she wills it as I would probably speak to or meet her for dinner at a moments notice. Sure. I know that sounds pretty pathetic since she has shown no such fidelity to me, but my heart betrays me. I just can't let go, even though there is nothing to hold onto. Overlook my ramblings. It's just that I can't talk about it to anyone without choking up, even after all of this time and the knowledge that she has bonded and blended her life with another. I simply can't bring my mind to the place I am constantly told I should be. Getting over it and moving on is a lot easier to tell someone, than it is for that someone to do. I'm living proof.